What’s a nice way to demand something of your neighbor?

The stove timer summoned me at 4:59 am. My husband and I had made a lot of brave talk last night about jumping out of bed to beat the heat. I’m tired of store bread, I wanted to get a loaf of bread in the oven by 6:30.  I remembered all that brave talk the night before, and I pushed my way out of the sack.  

At 5:30, after the dough was in the pot, I walked outside with my dogs. The sky was so overcast I couldn’t see any stars, but a sweet, cool breeze was ruffling my hair. As we returned to the house I could have sworn I felt a couple of raindrops on my shoulders.

At 5:50 I heard what I would call a “hard sprinkle” pattering in the treetops outside my windows. I hope it will clean some of the gunk out of the air, but I’m happy enough with the wet smell coming in the house.  When I looked outside I could see the little rain drop patterns in the dry dirt – I was surprised, I figured those drops would evaporate before they touched the ground.

Neighbors’ chickens are making their usual fuss. The flies are bad, we’ve got traps strung all along the fence between us and they are full and buzzing. One trap is about $5 so we add water when they’re getting dried out and try to make them last as long as possible. Meanwhile, neighbor has learned to clean her coop, but composts it in an open bin, right over the fence from my tenants’ windows. 

I approached her with a pamphlet from my vet last Summer – her response – “We don’t have flies!”

So, I read the city code, she’s in violation all over town, now I just have to work up the nerve to print a copy, hand it to her, and demand in a nice but firm way that she fence her birds and her open “organic composter” 20  feet off my property line. The other day I was looking out my living room window, and a chicken standing right next to my fence squirted at least a quarter cup of shit out of it’s butt. But my neighbor refuses to admit that chickens might cause flies. She’s actually brought in a half dozen more, and she’s trying to sell eggs from a stand in front of her house, which is also illegal.

I just need to work up the nerve to confront her without saying anything inflammatory. I’m all on board,  but my mouth is ready to nail her to the barn door.

I’m so sick of having flies crawl on me whenever I’m trying to use my yard. It really disgusts me when I find them “resting” on my laundry. I can’t sit in my pool with a drink because the flies are all over it. In fact, they’re all over us when we sit in our pool. They come on in force when I feed my dogs on the front porch. Oftentimes my husband stands over us with the fly swatter, the current count is 13 flies in 5 minutes.

The other day I had one in the kitchen, I got so mad I caught and mashed it with my bare hand. 

We have fly swatters hanging from posts all around the yard – next to the BBQ, next to the pool, next to the laundry line. But she doesn’t have so much as one fly trap, even though she’s responsible for the problem. 

How do you talk to a person like that? 

Anybody got any suggestions?