Liz Merry for City Council – or how about, BFD? Merry Standish Comedy tonight at Duffy’s – show starts at 7:30

Tonight I would like to be going to Duffy’s for a Merry Standish show, but instead I will be sitting at city chambers listening to the talking heads barf out their plastic bag ban.

 I’m so sick of this stupid stuff, right in the face of our “financial problems.” Does anybody understand how much Lori Barker’s time is “worth”? Is this a “business friendly” ordinance? Is it a totally ridiculous posturing by a council full of hypocrites whose lifestyles wouldn’t meet the same standards they lay out for us? The answers to these and other questions are available only to folks who are willing to stick their eyeball to the keyhole.

Council will shortly make the decision to dissolve the Economic Development Committee, which of course does not mean the end of “economic development,” (bust a snicker) but the end of public oversight of the activities carried out by staff on behalf of private business. “Unlike city meetings, TeamChico meetings are not public because of sensitive or proprietary information that surfaces, [Katie Simmons] said.” (Chico ER, 3/26/14)

That sensitive information being, just how much time we are paying city staffers to work for private businesses. Katie Simmons, Chico Chamber director, already receives her salary from city of Chico grants.  

Nakamura claims this move will save staff time, but it won’t. Now we will need to FOIA information like, how much staff time goes into TEAM Chico, because, according to Chris Constantin, staff has been ordered not to answer my e-mails. “At the request of the City Manager, I have forwarded your email to him for response.”  But what’s up Brian? I have not received any response to my question regarding low-income subsidization of the new required garbage service. I had asked Constantin, fist puppet of Nakamura, (I hope you’re enjoying the ride Chris), how the low-income subsidy would pan out – would the city be able to make any money off this scam, if they have to pay subsidies on over half the town’s population? I’m just guessing there – I  think a family of four can make about $40,000/year and qualify for CARE or LIRA, the assistance programs available through PG&E and Cal Water. The median income in Chico is right around $38,000, I’m no math whiz, so I’m guessing, about half the town will be eligible for assistance. But, Constantin, who came to one of our CTA meetings to convince me that the city should drop the sunshine period, has suddenly stopped talking. 

Get some Preparation H, Chris!  Ask Scott Gruendl for some – Gruendl once told me his hemorroids were so bad, he had to have surgery. Wow, that’s awful for a man who was barely 40 years old at the time. My dad had that surgery, after he’d been driving an 18 wheeler for about 45 years.  I told Scott he needed to change his lifestyle – driving constantly back and forth to Orland instead of living a more “new urban” lifestyle here in town. He thought I meant, his gay lifestyle, and things went downhill between us long before I started to realize his  true political agenda. Gosh, those misunderstandings! But, that was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard about his speeding ticket – wow, that’s some drive, on his butt, THAT’S GOT TO HURT! Of course he was going 102 mph, wouldn’t you be? 

But this man feels righteous in putting a plastic bag ban over our heads? This next election better be a housecleaning, cause we got problems. We have a seven-headed stinking fish. We have an opportunity upcoming to get rid of three of those stinking heads in November, let’s not dally here folks. Unfortunately, we only have two council candidates at present. Maybe Liz Merry would be willing to move back to Chico, we can get her a little apartment in  Ann Schwab’s place. I’m telling you, I’d rather listen to Gal Noir, or Tammy Whynot on alternate Tuesdays than the kind of weird comedy that plays out currently.  I’m guessing, attendance at those dumb meetings would go up about 800 percent. And Liz is no dummy – she ran a successful business in Red Bluff for years, and she’s managed to stay married to Aaron Standish without assault charges being filed, so I’d say she’s got a perfect temperament. 

I’ll talk to her about it back stage tonight (women’s bathroom, Duffy’s). Speaking of long-lost city council candidates and other people we miss alot, get ready to laugh your ass off:

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10 thoughts on “Liz Merry for City Council – or how about, BFD? Merry Standish Comedy tonight at Duffy’s – show starts at 7:30

  1. The email I sent to Council regarding bag ban:
    Dear Council,

    Would you please tell me how much the city has spent in staff time and money on the plastic bag ban?

    I’m sure considerable resources have been spent on this and the people of Chico deserve to know. I know the city attorney alone books out at well over $100 an hour. So what is the total cost?

    The state is close to passing similar legislation so why are you spending more of our money on this? How can you justify this when the city is millions in the red, tens of millions counting the unfunded pension liabilities.

    Being the wise, upstanding and illustrious leaders that you are I’m sure you will provide a brilliant answer that includes deep insight. Insight a peon like me would not understand without your benevolent assistance. I anxiously await your answer. Thank you.

    Your humble subject,

    Barton

      • You know Juanita, if plastic bags are a problem than those free papers like good old Melissa’s must really be a bigger issue.

        I see a lot more News and Reviews scattered around than plastic grocery bags.

        Maybe we can get Schwab to pass a law that forces merchants to charge 50 cents for those free papers.

        I’m sure Melissa would agree. After all, you don’t think she’s a hypocrite, do you? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

      • Sheesh Bart, you’re a genius! Unfortunately, I don’t know about Melissa, but Ann Schwab is a hypocrite, fer sure fer sure. When I asked the STF to “ban” the Market Value Place ad rag that is sent out by Chico Enterprise Record every Wednesday, Schwab just sat there like a bunny trying to fool an owl. Member BT Chapman (now on the airport commission) was more concerned about offending the ER than saving the planet. He said he got a promise for opt-out information printed ON the MVP, but that was a lie either on his part or on that of whomever he talked to.

        I think they should at least be honest, make some sort of proclamation here – “We’re the gander, and you’re the goose – sit down and shut up!”

  2. Here’s the response I got from Sorensen:

    Please see brief responses in Red Below…

    From: Barton Crocket
    Sent: Friday, April 04, 2014 6:00:30 PM
    To: Debbie Presson; Dani Brinkley
    Subject: Question About Bag Ban

    Dear Council,

    Would you please tell me how much the city has spent in staff time and money on the plastic bag ban?

    Staff time is not tracked to specific items. But the answer is at least a few 10’s of thousands of dollars over the course of the past two years. And will be at least a few 10’s of thousands of dollars per year until the state takes over that function and we repeal the non-sense.

    I’m sure considerable resources have been spent on this and the people of Chico deserve to know. I know the city attorney alone books out at well over $100 an hour. So what is the total cost?

    ...For the process of evaluating proposals for City Attorney services, a recent review of City Attorney department costs estimated that it cost the city $224.60 per hour of attorney time. Plus various indirect costs. The new firm is charging $150 per hour and believes that once up to speed that they will need almost half the number of hours per month. But again, total hours are not tracked to individual items such as the plastic bag ban.

    The state is close to passing similar legislation so why are you spending more of our money on this? How can you justify this when the city is millions in the red, tens of millions counting the unfunded pension liabilities.

    .. Some council members need to show their supporters that they’re doing something. Even when it makes no rational sense. Particularly in an election year.

    Being the wise, upstanding and illustrious leaders that you are I’m sure you will provide a brilliant answer that includes deep insight. Insight a peon like me would not understand without your benevolent assistance. I anxiously await your answer. Thank you.

    Your humble subject,

    Barton Crocket

    • I don’t have color (that I know) so I put Mark’s quotes in italics.

      This is very interesting. Mark says they don’t track time for individual items – but I just sat through a conversation about doing exactly that. Would you mind sending that question directly to Chris Constantin, at chris.constantin@chicoca.gov ? He might give you a better answer. He’s been told not to answer my e-mails by Brian Nakamura, but if you pose your question very businesslike I bet he’ll answer you.

  3. Here’s the response from Morgan. Not surprisingly the dedicated public servants repsonsible for this abomination have decided to not respond.

    Mr. Crocket,

    I read Vice-Mayor Sorensen’s answer and couldn’t agree more.

    The plastic bag ban is feel good politics based on questionable (at best) science.

    -Sean Morgan

    • Frankly, you have to write your e-mail without a hint of facetiousness, not a trace of flippancy, not a jiggle of jocularity. The liberals, ex-peshally Scott Gruendl, expect to be treated like royalty. They will say you are being “uncivil” and “disrespectful” and you will be out. Brian Nakamura has completely blackballed me for insubordination.

      but then, I haven’t been able to get a response out of Morgan since I outed his late-night rendezvous with Chico Police Association president Peter Durfee.

  4. WARNING: go to the bathroom before you watch this video, or bust out a new pair of Depends, this video is dangerous for the over 50 crowd.

    I want you guys to do my obit. No kidding, I worry about dying and Dave Little writing my obit. This is a real concern for the over-50 crowd. And, where to get Depends after midnight.

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